What do you do when a man with a knife in his chest walks into your restaurant? Serve him coffee, natch. That's pretty much what happened in Warren, Mich., a suburb of Detroit, last Sunday.

An unnamed man was reported to have walked into Brayz's Hamburgers with a 5-inch knife up to the hilt in the left side of his chest.

According to a news story on MSN, restaurant employee George Merdita said the man came in, ordered a cup of coffee and sat down, saying he was waiting for an ambulance.

Merdita said the man was even "mingling" with the customer next to him.

"It was like out of a movie," said Merdita. "It kind of freaked us all out here. Then, the customers realized it and they were all turning their heads in disgust."

Reports by the Warren police indicated that the man said he was walking when another man came up and demanded money.

When the walker refused, the robber stabbed him with the knife.

Undeterred, the man looked for help at a nearby apartment complex but nobody was out at 10 p.m. on a Sunday night.

So he just kept walking, about a mile all told, before finding to a pay phone to call 911. Then he went into Brayz's to wait for the ambulance.

The emergency transcript showed that the man said, "Yes ma'am, could uh? is it possible to send an ambulance here? There's a knife stuck in my chest."

Merdita was impressed with the knifed man's demeanor: "To come in with something stuck in your chest and order a cup of coffee and sit down? ..."

He added that the man was calm and never complained of pain.

When the ambulance and police arrived, the man was taken to the hospital for treatment and is expected to be OK.

Meanwhile, he described the attacker as being tall and wearing a hooded sweatshirt and a goatee.

The robber is also without his knife, which the attackee kept until presenting it to the police for evidence. Seems to me Brayz's Hamburgers should offer the man free coffee for a year. After all, they're bound to have received plenty of publicity over the incident.

And maybe the man could work up a deal with a company that specializes in steak knives. He could be their chief spokesman.

"Our steak knife is so sharp it'll cut through flesh in no time," he could tell the viewing audience. "Just look at my scar. Notice how clean it is. That's because of our teflon coating that allows the edge to slice right through without snags and snarls. Order within 30 minutes and we'll send you a gift certificate for a free cup of coffee at Brayz's Hamburgers. Order more than one knife and your name will be entered into a drawing for a hooded sweatshirt emblazoned with my own slogan, ÔThere's a knife stuck in my chest.' Hurry and order your knife today. But remember, it's only to be used for steak and other dinner meats. Use as a weapon is strictly forbidden."

I can just see steak knife sales soaring.

The knifed man incident may be a windfall for the knife industry, but here's a word of reminder: Don't walk by yourself at night in Detroit City.



Larry Penkava, who has written Now and Then since 1994, would prefer the coffee without the knife.