Simply Sandy - Being in the middle isn't easy

I don’t know about you but I have never liked being in the middle of things. Guess I should be used to it being one of six children and being number three. Studies have been conducted and books have been written about birth order. After reading some of them I have discovered that people are people no matter what kind of grouping you put them in.

The oldest child usually has a Type A personality where they are driven to succeed because of all the expectations that new parents put on them. The youngest or the baby feels pangs too as being just that – the baby of the family.

For most of my brother’s growing up years he was simply called “The Boy.” Being the baby after five girls and 15 girl cousins, you can see why. Each child, person and personality type seems to have its own frustrations and it seems that way in life. Grandma was right – life is just a phase. We go from one to another and just when you think you’ve got it all figured out something new presents itself.

Once again I find myself in the middle. Not of something necessarily bad but hard. In fact society has a term for we baby boomers. We are the Sandwich Generation. Merriam-Webster officially added the term to its dictionary in July 2006. The Sandwich Generation is a generation of people who care for their aging parents while supporting their own children.

According to Carol Abaya, there are many scenarios involved in being a part of the Sandwich Generation. She has coined phrases that depict the different ways that families are involved in elder care. Those being Traditional, for those sandwiched between aging parents who need care and/or help and their own children; Club Sandwich, for those in their 50s and 60s sandwiched between parents, adult children and grandchildren or those in their 30s and 40s with young children, aging parents and grandparents; and Open Faced for anyone involved in elder care.

According to her Website (www.sandwichgeneration.com), “Carol Abaya, M.A., is nationally recognized as an expert on the sandwich generation, aging and elder/parent care issues. Her magazine, The Sandwich Generation, was the first to talk about the challenges of elder/parent care. Her nationally syndicated weekly columns reached as many as 1,000,000 readers.”

Sounds like I am not in this boat alone.

It’s a real struggle to live my life and help my parents and have time for my husband, children and grandchildren. If there was an award for Super Fantastic Understanding Husband, Wally would win hands down. I pray and cry a lot. He is always there for me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God has a plan for each of us and that this too will pass. I’m sure I will be wiser for it.

When it comes to sandwiches though, make mine a BLT lightly toasted with mayonnaise.



Simply Sandy is written by Sandy Jarrell and appears the first Wednesday of each month. Simply put, it’s Sandy waxing wordy once a month about life as she knows it. Jarrell is a native and life-long resident of Coleridge and a librarian at Ramseur Public Library. She can be reached by e-mail at wjarrell@rtmc.net

Text Only