There could be a cure any day now. Honest. I ran across this news item the other day:
“A group of medical scientists in London is somewhat elated over the fact that they have a cold. And it’s a cold they don’t want to get rid of in a hurry even though they have had it for two years.
“Ordinarily, a cold is a miserable cuss that nobody wants, but in the London case the scientists have, for the first time, found a way to grow the elusive cold virus outside the human body.
“They have high hopes that their findings will prove a way to perfect a cure for the common cold. Throughout the years, medical scientists have sought a means for isolating the common cold virus in an effort to study it thoroughly in the hopes of developing a vaccination against colds. ...”
A cure for the common cold seems close to coming to fruition, right?
Well, not so fast. That news item was from the Feb. 3, 1960, edition of The Randolph Guide.
It’s been 50 years now, so surely the London scientists must be making progress. They’re probably still working on the problem from their nursing homes.
—
“Oh Basil, could you bring the cold culture over here to my bedside table? And try not to drop it like last time. I came down with a dreadful cough and stuffy nose from that little incident.”
“Certainly, Neville, I’ll get it to you as soon as I can locate my walker. By the way, have you seen my spectacles?”
“Quite right, Basil. They’re on your forehead.”
“Jolly good, Neville. Oh, how silly of me. My walker was right here carrying my weight all along. Now, what was it you wanted?”
“The cold culture! the cold culture! That stuff we isolated 50 years ago, Basil. Remember?”
“Oh yes, the rhinovirus. We’re right on the verge of finding a cure for the common cold — any day now, right Neville?”
“Righto, Basil, any day now.”
—
Now in the 21st Century comes word that researchers have decoded the cold virus genomes and are finding the vulnerabilities. The problem? Developing a new drug could cost $700 million, not worth the investment for a minor illness, say pharmaceutical companies.
Guess we’ll have to stick to the age-old remedies — drink plenty of fluids and get lots of rest. For those wanting to keep from getting a cold, wash your hands regularly and wear a sanitized surgical mask.
By the way, are you supposed to starve a cold or feed it? Can you really sweat a cold out?
Larry Penkava, who has written Now and Then since 1994, says you learn a lot reading 50-year-old newspapers.
