You’d think they’d have 57 varieties of ketchup packets by now.
But after 42 years of a condiment container causing considerable consternation, Heinz is crowing over creating a consumer-conscious carton that’ll calm the cockles.
According to the Associated Press, the new ketchup packet is designed for both dipping and squeezing. In the form of a cup rather than a pouch, it has a top that can be peeled back for dipping and an end piece that can be torn off for the more conventional extrusion.
Dave Ciesinski, vice president of Heinz Ketchup, was quoted as saying, “The packet has long been the bane of our consumers. We created the packet in 1968. Consumer complaints started around 1969.”
There you go – 41 years of fiddle-faddling around while we had to deal with ripping open ketchup packets with our teeth and hoping the red stains on our clothes would come out in the wash. Where was Thomas Edison all those years? Or NASA, for that matter?
When you think about it, the life of the ketchup packet pretty much parallels that of the computer. Sure, there have been hair-pullings and PC tossings out of frustration with those electronic monstrosities. But guess what, Microsoft and Apple come out with upgrades every couple of years to improve their products and give users something new to gripe about.
Not so with ketchup packets. For all those years of electronic developments producing gadgets that do increasingly more things in ever smaller sizes, we devourers of french fries and onion rings have been caught in a time warp.
It’s not rocket science, Heinz. For years we’ve had little containers with the easy-open, indented stipples that allow a hungry burger freak to get to the mayo well before meltdown. And I’m sure you’ve spread your toast with jelly from a portion pack with the tab opener.
All Heinz had to do was copy one or both of those devices, or combine the two as they’ve finally seen fit to do with the Dip & Squeeze packet.
My guess is Heinz would have been content to watch frustrated fast-food diners continue to struggle with the ancient packets. They seem to cling to the myth that ketchup retrieval is meant to be slow, i.e., “Anticipation, anticipa-a-tion is making me wait ...”
However, anti-packet groups have sprouted on the Internet, stirring an uprising against the messy ketchup sac. One is led by Matt Kurtz, a college student who was inspired to start such a group on Facebook after an especially annoying spill on his pants during a road trip a couple of years ago.
His Prop 57 is meant to “draw awareness” to vexing, irritating and troubling condiment calamities.
“There has to be a better way,” said Kurtz.
Indeed there is, Matt, and Heinz has finally relented in the face of mounting pressures from those – like you – who have had enough.
Let’s just hope Heinz doesn’t rest on its laurels. There’s still the matter of getting ketchup out of bottles ...
Larry Penkava, who has written Now and Then since 1994, can see a time when takeout cups have built-in lids.
