Larry Penkava: The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

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The Sky Is Falling by Larry Penkava

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January 13, 2012

Anonymous ---- The Randolph Guide Fri Jan 13, 2012, 10:18 AM EST

ASHEBORO — Great balls of fire. Space balls are raining down on the Southern Hemisphere.

The latest landing came in November on a remote area of the remote nation of Namibia, once known as South West Africa. A ball composed of material described as a "metal alloy known to man" by Paul Ludik, a police forensic expert, thudded down in a grassland about 480 miles north of the capital of Windhoek.

The space ball is 14 inches in diameter and weighs 13 pounds. Deputy Inspector Vilho Hifindaka said it's hollow and tests conducted on it show that it's of no danger. The ball is said to consist of "two halves welded together."

"It is not an explosive device," Hifindaka announced.

The impact of the landing created a crater about 4 yards wide and 13 inches deep. It must have bounced after hitting the ground because it came to rest about 20 yards away.

Nearby villagers reported hearing several "small explosions" during the days before the discovery. So the ball may have skipped like a pebble sidearmed onto a lake surface.

A report by AFP New Agency said other space balls have fallen during the past 20 years on Africa, Australia and Latin America. Sounds like the flight path for satellites launched by man.

In fact, a blogger from California who said he once worked in the aerospace industry makes the case that the space balls "are from rockets and satellite motor control systems." He said they would have contained fuel or pneumatic gases.

The former aerospace guy added that each rocket or satellite could have several of the spheres mounted on them and that once they become detached from the satellite they may float in space for months because they're so light.

And, if you can believe his comments, the space balls are made of stainless steel or titanium, "which is worth some money." That's sure to bring out the scrap metal collectors.

Now, if there are literally hundreds of satellites orbiting the earth and each has several space balls, could we expect a barrage during the next few years? Will Chicken Little go on a campaign to tell the world that "the sky is falling"?

Would it help to wear a helmet while working in the yard? Or is a 13-pound space ball descending at several G's too much for a traditional head protector?

As you can imagine, the comics have come out in droves since the news of the space ball broke. For instance, one commenter called it an empty alien beer keg. Another said it needed to be batted back or Earth would lose the interplanetary volleyball tournament.

Not so, I say, since it's already hit the floor. Your serve.

One person went so far as to specifically identify the space ball – a 104-litre hydrazine propellant tank: Model OST 31/0.

Well, that explains it. And I thought we had a mystery to last us for at least for one news cycle.

Let's review: A metal ball falls on Namibia causing sounds similar to explosions. Officials call in NASA scientists to examine the ball, who likely take it back with them to the U.S. for further study.

News leaks that a UFO has been discovered in the New Mexico desert, prompting a Congressional inquiry. The public demands answers.

"It's not extraterrestrial, just an illusion caused by marsh gases," is the official explanation.

Meanwhile back at the jet propulsion lab, engineers are retrofitting the space ball for its next mission. It's piggybacking a satellite to be launched into earth orbit.

Turns out it's a spy satellite that will hover over a remote area of southwestern Africa. Seems there's been suspicious activity of late in that part of the world.

Rumors have it that an object from space has fallen from the sky.

Larry Penkava, who has written Now and Then since 1994, always enjoys finding out the rest of the story.

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