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It’s May, time for planting, for spring cleaning and Mother’s Day. With that in mind I thought I’d bring you some words of wisdom from my mom aka Miss Lillie.
Some days when I visit I see Mom. On other days Miss Lillie is there. How it happened and why she arrives is a mystery. One that medical science has not yet solved … maybe in the telling it will make sense.
Having Parkinson’s Disease, degenerative bone disease, recovering from a broken leg and a host of other ailments that require that she take a dozen or more prescription drugs accounts for a lot of the confusion.
And so it is we have good moments and some not so good. Would I change things if I could? Absolutely! Do I treasure the time we have together. Yes, even on the Miss Lillie days.
Recently Miss Lillie said, “ You will really miss talking to your Mama when she’s gone. If I could talk to my Mama I would be alright.”
There is something to be said for being alright. Even as Miss Lillie, Mom knew that talking to her Mama would make things right. Grandma didn’t have the power to heal. She did have the power of a mother’s love to set the heart aright when it had been broken.
She knew the words to say and she knew who to go to in prayer when life’s problems were too big to solve. It was at her knee that Mom grew up. It was that same love and compassion that Mom showed to each of us.
Mom was just that… Mom, her life revolving around her family. Her hopes would play out in the lives of her children. She seemed content enough to be sort of the supervisor in charge.
It was a small work force – her husband, four girls and a boy born to them. Hers was a meticulous world. Everything had its place and everything had to be done right and at the right time.
She didn’t crack a whip or beat anyone into submission. I guess it was love or guilt on some level that just made feel that you had to please her. To a small girl winning her approval was everything.
Even our extended family came to her for advice. Whatever they needed she tried to provide it. Whether it was a Band-Aid, or a shoulder to cry on everyone knew that she was there.
Trying to make things and people alright can be an awesome and tiring responsibility. She has spent her life trying to make life better for her family.
Today it must really be hard for her going from someone that was in charge to someone that is totally dependent on others for her every need. The little girl in me wants to please her. The grown up with children and grandchildren of my own wants to show her the same love that she has accorded to me. Some days I talk to Mom. Some days I talk to Miss Lillie. I know that some day, I will miss talking to them both.
With Miss Lillie’s words ringing in my ears and tearing at my heart I would be remiss if I didn’t say talk to your mama. You’ll miss talking to her when she is gone.
Simply Sandy is written by Sandy Jarrell and appears the first Wednesday of each month. Simply put, it’s Sandy waxing wordy once a month about life as she knows it. Jarrell is a native and life-long resident of Coleridge and a librarian at Ramseur Public Library. She can be reached by e-mail at wjarrell@rtmc.net
